Pablo E. Bear


I graduated from Arctic College, with degrees in environmental sciences, mauling, and negotiation.  I got my Bearister's degree, magna paw laude from The Arctic Law School, Northern Campus.  I work on environmental issues, handle individual, mass, and class maulings, and sleep a lot.

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Curriculum Vitae

Pablo Esco Bear is a Bearister* who focuses his practice consulting with endangered and vulnerable species on environmental issues.  He also handles maulings on an individual, mass, and class basis.

Pablo has had many notable successes in his legal career, including

  • Helping to negotiate the licensing deal with Coca Cola on behalf of the Arctic Polar Bear community;
  • Helping pass legislation providing Grolar Bears with protection from discrimination by governmental bodies and private corporations;
  • Lead negotiator in the 2015 Polar Bear/Seal Unity Pact which allowed previously warring communities to pool resources to advance shared environmental goals;
  • Pro bearno counsel to variety of wild animals who were zoo’d without due pawcess.
  • Successfully represented B. Rabbit in defamation suit against Aesop in connection with “Tortoise and Hare” Press Reports (suit established law holding that calling a rabbit a “hare” is libel per se and resulted in a 3.2 million fish award and an injunction prohibiting Aesop and his heirs from falsely claiming that any tortoise or turtle-like creature won any race against Ms. Rabbit.)


Pablo has written extensively on legal issues, including his most cited work:  “The Right to [Bear] Arms:  How a Simple Misspelling by the Founders of ‘Human Sub-Arctic Continent B’ Changed the Course of History.”  He also was featured in the documentary “Zootopia” and wrote the hit song “Grrrrrrr Gwrrrl Grrrrrr.”  His sizzle reel is available here.

Pablo has 28 sons and daughters, 247 grandbears, and is the godfather to the only known semi-domesticated warm-climate half polar bear.  An accomplished fisherbear, Pablo has won numerous ice-fishing competitions throughout the world and was named “Fishercub of the Year” by Hibo Magazine in 1992 and 1993.


*Note — Mr. Bear is not licensed to practice law in human courts.

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